Erin Patten (00:03.096)
So you guys, I haven't been on a date in months and I've stopped drinking. I don't go out on the weekends anymore, certainly not going to clubs. And I have to say that my business, my life, everything has never been more aligned, okay? And I feel like we're in a season where all the wellness girlies are really prioritizing themselves, choosing themselves and realizing that the...
I want to call it the social hustle is no longer valid anymore. It's no longer not only validating us, but it's no longer adding unto us. And, you know, the, the drinking, the partying, you know, even dating coaches are advising us to, to really be mindful about how we even use these apps and engaging with people. And, and no one really talks about what this season feels like.
It really feels like a season of isolation when in reality it's aligning you. So today I really wanna talk about what it means to, when your spiritual path starts to awaken something deeper within you that really shifts the way you engage with the world around you. And the world around you meaning your friendships, your love life, your engagement with all these digital inputs and outputs that we're always feeling
to engage with like Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, TikTok, you name it. And the romantic life and the social life that we thought that we needed to amplify our success is actually secondary to it all. So I really wanna introduce this concept of healing doesn't always look like adding to your life.
Oftentimes, and especially what I've been experiencing more recently is the subtraction of things from my life. And this past Sunday was Easter and, and I had given up alcohol and I actually had deleted the apps, Instagram, TikTok, LinkedIn, and Facebook from my phone. So everything that you're seeing going on social media right now is coming from my marketing team and it's not coming directly from me anymore.
Erin Patten (02:27.386)
just to be fully transparent. And when I say directly from me, it's not me like going on the app and like posting it, like hitting the post button myself. Actually, I have decided to, I decided to do a detox. Like I really needed to get off of it. I was posting to my stories all the time. I was posting every day, know, engaging every day with all my posts. And even though I enjoyed it,
I really needed a break. For full transparency, I found myself doing it more for the dopamine hits of guys that I was talking to making little comments in my stories or DMing me from my posts. And it really started to detract from the purpose of the content, which was to reach women and reach people who really needed support with their business. So I found myself caught between two...
goals, if you will, with my content. Yes, I was trying to inspire and teach to women, but then also I was trying to please guys who I was dating in my life. And not that there is necessarily anything wrong with that because Instagram is certainly an opportunity to meet people and to connect both romantically and professionally. Yet I was not getting the gratification on the professional side as much as I was from the romantic side, and it was weighing on me.
And so, you I really had to remove that from my life. And with that came the removal of sending reels to my girlfriends and my niece all the time and, you know, engaging with people who I am always engaging with and really found myself with myself more. And on top of that, not having the wine to go to or the drinks, the happy hours. And I didn't want that anyway. I really was.
valuing my sleep time and my rest time and my nap times and my quiet mornings with myself and even especially with my son. You know, even with my son, I was trying to get content and post my stories while he was there and capturing content when I'm in the gym every day. And it was a lot. And I really found myself.
Erin Patten (04:48.609)
going through what I'm calling kind of like the great subtraction, like removing things from my life so I can really focus on all the things and the people and the experiences and the energies that actually matter.
And, you know, the deleting of the apps wasn't really a breakup per se. I would say more, was a boundary. Certainly it was a boundary for how I wanted to show up for myself, how I wanted to engage with the world around me. And I want to be in this stage of my life more intentional about how I want to engage. I certainly want to be building more personal relationships. I certainly want to be prioritizing connections.
that are founded in real life. And even though it's cool to be meeting people digitally, it's cool to be connected with people digitally, I really want to prioritize human connection. And essentially, when we're talking about our business lives, and we wanna bring that same energy to our dating, to our work.
to our relationships with family, with friends, where we wanna be connecting in real life and prioritizing presence and being there for each other. And I just have to say that it wasn't happening when I was really focused on the digital front. so, and even with the sobriety piece, like the drinking, like, whew, that's been a lifelong on-off kind of journey for me. And...
Not to say that I'm like a raging alcoholic at this stage in my life, because that's certainly not the case, but it's more of the toxicity. It's a poison, essentially. You know, it's not adding value to my life. And even though it's cool to have a cocktail every now and then, if that's where you're at, for me, I didn't want to do that anymore. I really wanted to always be in a...
Erin Patten (06:56.973)
clear state of mind and a sober state of mind and wanting to show up like loud and clear for myself, especially for myself. And also like from the calorie perspective too, I was just talking about this with a friend. It's like such a slippery slope. You may have one or two drinks, but then now you're ordering appetizers and wings and French fries to go with the drinks. And so was just like the lifestyle that's around it just wasn't supporting where I want to go. And essentially,
I want to get into more of the principles of how this great subtraction is subtracting of things that are no longer serving you or maybe bad habits or maybe an opportunity to clear up some energies in your life could be adding unto your businesses and what your business is trying to tell you. And I want to bring up this principle called the mirror principle. And it's essentially, you know, your business, your life.
is a mirror of your inner world. And when our inner world is toxic or chaotic or not having the proper boundaries or all over the place, then our business, our lives, our outer world is going to reflect that. So we have to be very conscious about healing what's here in our own being.
to be able to heal what's out in the world, what's in our businesses, what's in our lives, what's in our relationships. And I have certainly been able to see this even in my conversations with clients. Like I recently had a conversation call with one of my clients last week and we were going through all the aspects of her business. She really wants to upgrade her offerings and really reach a new audience. And then when we got to...
the area around pricing, she froze. Because this was an opportunity for her to really get that high ticket offer for what she's offering. I mean, she's a renowned healer. She has multiple certifications. She's a doctor, all the things. And it really was a reflection of what was going on in her own life why she froze. I she was going through very serious...
Erin Patten (09:17.805)
relationship breakup, she was, because of the breakup, was dealing with having to be homeless for a little while and finding housing and really rebuilding her life from scratch. And that creates a sense of instability in the being, in your inner world. So when it's time to show up for someone else, you just, there's a little bit of kind of a mismatch, like a gap, like, oh my God, like how can I show up for someone else if I am not really comfortable with where I'm at or where I've been?
So really what we wanna be doing right now as we are doing this kind of subtraction of things from our life, whether it's the drinking or the dating apps or the social media apps or whatever we're removing from our lives to make space for the healing that we need to do on the inside. Where do we need to show up better for ourselves? To be able to attract the resources that we need to get to the next level, to be able to attract that man that we want that's gonna treat us as the queen that we are.
Okay, so essentially while you're in this season of nothing, that's what I'm calling it for right now, this season of really eliminating a lot of the things that no longer serve you, you want to be thinking about those areas of your life, those areas of your being that need to be healed, that need to be tended to if they aren't really wounded, the areas that just need a little bit more of your attention. Are you needing more rest?
Are you needing more relaxation? Are you needing more nutrition, healthier foods, yummier foods? Are you needing more sun, more time in the air, more walking, more movement, more dance, more music? So really start to look at those areas of your life where you need more tending to that would bring you more joy. And essentially,
the woman that emerges from this space of eliminating kind of like the process of elimination, things that are no longer serving and attracting those things that are adding onto, you will begin to see and align to your higher purpose because essentially, you know, the energetic truth around this is when you're starting to vibrate with those things that bring you joy, more joy is coming, adding onto and coming into your life. It's just the natural laws. Those are the universal laws.
Erin Patten (11:45.294)
So you have to be able to really move in this space of wanting these great things for your life, of wanting to have this joy and believing and knowing that it's possible for you. And I know that's what's really emerged for me in this season of Lent and this season of detox and this season of stillness and this season of nothingness, if you will.
I really am able to call in those big dreams that I want for my life, the enormous goals that I have seen myself wanting to reach and having them start to manifest for me. Not only manifest, but the strategies, the processes are beginning to emerge for me to get there step by step. And...
You know, this movement that's happening, this really this abstinence economy in a way where people are abstaining from sex, people are practicing semen retention, people are practicing nunnery. You know, where we're really are not finding what we want in and out of our relationships. So we're really coming to ourselves for that love, which we have always been called to do.
And it's just a function of just where we are in our world, in our generations, where we've kind of gone from like hookup culture, where we thought that that was freedom and expression and realizing that was draining and depleting, to really honoring where we are, honoring our sexuality, honoring our abstinence, honoring our wanting to be with ourselves, honoring showing up for the one or two people or however many people we want to show up with.
zero people to honor ourselves. And, you know, at the end of the day, women and lots of men too are tired of performing. And, you know, I'm having conversations now with, you know, with through people I've met or through men I meet on dating apps or however, and it's going both ways. Like people are kind of sick of the swipe left, swipe left, you know, disposable.
Erin Patten (14:06.569)
economy of relationships and are wanting deeper connections. And abstinence isn't just about sex because it's about energy, essentially, and the leaking of energy. And when I was talking before about the hookup culture being draining and depleting, we no longer want to drain and deplete ourselves and very careful about how we want to engage with people energetically.
how we wanna engage with the world around us, the relationships around us, whether it's men or women, friendships or romantic partnerships. And as we're doing that, we understand that our relationships with our partners, our romantic partners, also mirror our relationships in our businesses, with our clients, with our coworkers, with our colleagues. If we're not setting hard boundaries in our romantic relationships,
or setting healthy boundaries rather in our romantic relationships, we're not setting healthy boundaries with our work. If we're overriding how we're feeling in our romantic relationships, we're overriding how we're feeling with our work. So if we're not attracting who we want in our romantic relationships, we likely aren't attracting who we want on the work side, on the business side.
So we have to begin to draw those parallels in all areas of our lives. And this is so counterintuitive by how business had been traditionally taught. Like you always, like you don't mix business with pleasure. Like business relationships are separate from personal relationships. How you show up in business is different from how you show up in the real world. Well, we now know that that's false. Especially those who have been doing entrepreneurship for a while. I am the same person.
You are the same person. You take you wherever you go. It just is what it is. You may wear a mask over here, but it's still you wearing the mask.
Erin Patten (16:08.375)
talking a different talk, walking a different walk, it's still you.
So we really need to understand how we.
Erin Patten (16:23.681)
want to show up for ourselves.
and how we want to show up for ourselves in what's really called a way where our energy is aligned, our intentions are aligned, our boundaries are clear, not just to others, but especially for ourselves, because other people are going to do what's best for them at the end of the day. So as long as you're clear with who you are and what you want your boundaries to be, then that's essentially how you will move. And really,
this abstinence economy or also what I would have had of experience as a sacred withdrawal is oftentimes necessary to get clear around where you want your energy to go, around what sort of boundaries you want to set, around how you want to show up in this world.
Erin Patten (17:19.241)
It is essential this time of withdrawal, this time of detox. And we still have a couple more weeks. We still have a, before the April 20th energy acceleration surge, we still have a good week and a half to really go within, get really clear around where you wanna go so that God, so that universe can make it happen for you.
And the withdrawal is really, to be clear, it's not anything punishing. It's not anything you should feel guilty about or depressed about, per se. It's an opportunity for realignment, for reassessment, so you can emerge stronger, better, and whole, more whole on the other side, okay? So let's paint this picture.
The woman who comes back from the season is gonna be oftentimes frightening for people, intimidating if nothing else, who knew the old version of her because she's not accommodating anymore. She's not available for chaos. She charges her worth without apologies, okay? And she walks into a room and people feel it before she says a word. So that's the picture we really wanna paint.
of this new version of ourselves and where we're going. So if you're feeling like you're in this lonely season right now, if you're feeling like you're in this season of sacred withdrawal, trust and know that you are emerging energetically to a different level. It is the upgrade that you've been calling for, calling in for yourself. And you wanna make sure that you're getting there in the fullness. if, of course, if you need support with that, I am here.
my divine mentorship and my divine alignment program is open for you to come in to call you in for that upgrade, that next level of guidance that really can support you in getting to that dream that you've always dreamed of, the manifestations that you really are trying to call in, whether it's bigger clients, more aligned clients.
Erin Patten (19:42.827)
This is really the work that we do with the Divine Alignment Mentorship Program. And I am absolutely here to serve and be of guidance for you in that walk. And I, you know, I just hope that if this is landing for you, that you'll share this with the woman that needs it, because we are all here, women especially, to lift each other up, to see each other.
eye to eye to see each other, to feel each other, to hear each other, and to support each other. Okay? So I thank you all so much for tuning in to this episode of the Meta Business Millennial Podcast. As always, it's so lovely to have you here. Certainly subscribe to this, and if you're interested in more of my work, of course, you can apply to the Divider Mentorship Program on my website, arimpatton.com, or you can follow me across social media at arimpatton.
I am Erin Patton to learn more about what I do and how I show up in the world. So I thank you again and much love and light. Peace.