Erin Patten (00:00.814)
So this is my first solo cast in a little over six months. The last time I was with you all, just me by myself in the confessional room is what I like to call it, was back in February when I did the Great Subtraction, essentially when I was fasting from alcohol and social media and really just coming back to myself and intentionally going into the dark, like going into
my shell, if you will, my cocoon to re-emerge as a butterfly, as as an embodied woman, essentially. And sometimes we have to disappear in order to come back to ourselves. And essentially that's what I had to do. And it's interesting because I just got back on Instagram two weeks ago. I just started, you know, really getting active and re-engaging with my community.
And one thing that really emerged for me, and I even wrote this in my caption on my first post, was it's one thing to be and claim, claim to be a woman of spirit. And it's another thing to be an embodied woman of spirit. And the embodiment really requires us coming back to ourselves, being able to implement all the things that we've been learning and teaching and absorbing.
To the traumas, the challenges, the hurdles that we have going on in our lives. And for me, I had tremendous challenges in the past six months. everything from still dealing with, you know, the the backlash of the custody situation, continuing to care for my mom by myself and dealing with betrayal around care for her.
being accused of of very heinous things as it relates to her, the care for her when there's nobody else that's doing it but me. And and having to sit in that judgment, having to sit in the accusations, and feeling so alone, feeling dejected, feeling worthless, honestly. And I have to be really real about how I felt and how.
Erin Patten (02:21.698)
the environment around me was really creating this very judgmental, punitive experience for me. And interacting, I mean everything from interacting with sheriffs and investigators, and I mean really going to court, like everything that you would think would be the worst case scenario as it relates to some people in your life who you love.
And get every ounce of care to I was experiencing. And it and I'm saying all this because I am just so honest about what's going on in my life. And I'm just, and it, and it really and at one point I really used to be ashamed of these things. Like now I'd be like, my damn, my life is so ghetto. Like I'm going to court. I got police at my door. I'm under criminal investigation. this, you know, civil investigation. All the I have all these things going on in my life.
And it just seems so odd. It actually feels like a circus. It feels feels like a drama. I call it a dramedy because you know, how can someone who's really dedicated to not only bettering myself, but being kind and and positive and uplifting the people around me, people who know me truly know this about me, and to then still be met with such negativity. And
Unfortunately, someone as close to me as my son's father falls into this category where it's a very intentional work to try to put me down, to take me down, to take me out, to make me appear to be a villain. When I've done nothing but try to uplift him, pour into him, pour into our family, my son, and to be met with that kind of resistance. It is incredibly, incredibly painful and and
And disheartening. And for all of you who are maybe going through similar situations where you have people in your life who you really care for and care about and want the best for, and all that they can see and come up with is the worst. you really have to be able to come back to yourself. And especially in these dark night of the soul type moments, to remind yourself of who the fuck you are. Okay. Because it no one's gonna be able to know that but you.
Erin Patten (04:45.92)
No one's gonna be able to affirm that, but you and God. So that is essentially what I've been going through in the past six months is reminding myself of who the fuck I'm. How I came to this planet, I came to this life to be the best human being, the best woman I could be. And I took a lot of time. I listened to so many uplifting books and audiobooks, and especially I'll have to.
Give credit to the Way of Mastery and the Shanti Cristo Foundation because that book really gave me life in hearing the channel words of Yeshua Ben Joseph, otherwise known as Jesus, and talking about forgiveness and talking about betrayal and talking about how we should live more of God through us and really see our lives as as as as vessels. And I know it's it it really.
Can sound cliche, but our living our lives as a vessel for God, for God to l experience through us, a co-creation at at its finest, at its truest. And this season helped to bring me to that point because I just realized how much in me was so angry, how much of me was so resentful, how much of me was just so done with.
The betrayal, done with the ugliness, done with the insanity of this world. I was just over it. I was like, fuck this world. I literally said that. I was just like, I could not take it anymore. I was just like, why is it so ridiculous and insane and ghetto? And and so I had to allow those really angry thoughts, those that all that had been just suppressed and trying to keep the peace.
With people around me and just in my own life, just trying to just, you know, make push through. And it really, this season just sat me all the way down. I just had to sit the fuck down. And when I'm sitting down, then all those, those aspects of me that were hidden or or pushed to the side or swept under the rug were very much revealed to me. And I got to see them loud and clear and hear them and feel them loud and clear.
Erin Patten (07:13.014)
And so this brings me to what the body does. Because I I I'm a human designer. I spent a lot of time also doing a lot of research around human design, around astrology. I've come to know myself so much better in the language of energy, what we called it in our last episode with Mr. Marvin Wilkerson around astrology being the language of energy. And human design essentially is just a a subset of that.
incorporating astrology and other other aspects to really understand the soul design. And I really move with my sacral authority. And I got an opportunity to tune in to that sacral authority of mine. I had been sharing probably many times in on my Instagram and my social media and maybe many of you have forgotten, but I had gone on this incredible Tai Chi journey. And I did a lot of Don John tapping where I'm just like
Tapping my sacral, tapping my essentially my lower abdomen region, my uterus area. That's our sacral area energetically. And I will wake up every morning doing these donjon tappings, doing my belly button healing with my belly button wand, really tuning into my my meditation. I have my Stargate priestess toning that I do to really align, align my energy into my my physical body. And as I'm doing all of this.
So work that I have to do. I have to do all this this extra work, the tai chi and the toning and the meditation, because of the vast amount and heavy energy that I'm feeling in all this pressure in my life. And it really helped me to come back to myself. And I know a lot of people ask me, like Erin, how do you get through these really rough times? Well, that that that bodily work, the the lifting weights, the going for walks, the meditation, the tai chi, the yoga.
These are all very useful tools when you're going through another dark night of the soul or a very challenging time in your life or a very confusing time in your life or a very grief-stricken, painful time of your life. These tools are very beautiful to help your body move the emotions, move the energy that's in motion in your being. And especially as women.
Erin Patten (09:27.074)
We're very emotional beings. Like that's our gift, is that we feel everything most of us do. And so in order to move that energy and being able to process it and use it in a constructive way, we have to move our bodies. And being able to get in tune with that sacral authority of mine and being able to come back to myself and listen to myself and feel into is this for me? Yeah, uh-huh. Or is this for not for me? No, that's not good for me.
And it's really, it really comes in a play, like not just, you know, around business, like which takes much more like logical, you know, strategic thinking versus things like sending a text message to somebody or you know, especially someone you you like, or I'm I'm in I'm still single, so I'm in this dating world. So if I'm wanting to send a text to someone, I have to come back to myself and really feel like, am I sending this from fullness, from wholeness?
Or am I sending this because I want some attention? I want some dopamine hits. I want a validation. So, and it's either way, it's okay, but know where you're coming from. So if you don't get that response, or if you don't get the response that you desire, that you're not internalizing it and feeling, you know, bad about yourself and wanting to block people and get all emotionally upset because you didn't get the response that you wanted from somebody else, because you were coming from a place of emptiness versus fullness.
And this is the kind of work that I was going through and practicing in this season too. It's just like, am I reaching out to people for validation or am I reaching out to people because I really care and want to know and engage with them? And oftentimes for me was the former. I'm wanting validation. I'm wanting external love. I'm wanting to be doted on. I'm wanting to be told you're so beautiful and hot. And I want to come, you know, take you down, take you out. Both at the same time.
but it's it's just interesting just how much we are are not being honest with ourselves. And it's not that we are doing it intentionally sometimes. Sometimes we just don't have that that very deep connection to self to be able to listen to ourselves to know the truth, to hear the truth, to to really act on the truth.
Erin Patten (11:48.856)
So that for me, the embodiment piece was really key in being able to hear my truth. Hear what was a yes, clear yes for me, and here was an absolute not for me. And I think that's something too that a lot of us can be able to benefit from as we're moving into this next season and being able to set those healthy boundaries. We always talk about healthy boundaries because that's the masculine, the healthy masculine aspect of ourselves that we really want to have secure.
As we're moving through a season of what I experience as my fallow season, essentially. And, you know, there's a version of love sometimes when we're engaging with the world that's like a martyrdom. Like we just have to give it all, or else, you know, give it, you know, it's all or nothing. Exactly. That's the phrase, all or nothing. And especially as go-getter entrepreneurial women.
Mothers, caregivers, we are oftentimes all or nothing type beings. And sometimes the universe creates this gap in your life. And for me, this is an incredible gap where I had I couldn't give anything. I I had I actually did not have it to give. Like I didn't have it, you know, financially, I didn't have it physically, I didn't have it energetically, I didn't, I just didn't have it to give. I literally had nothing to give.
And this was a very humbling season for me because it's just like, my god, like, who am I if not the giver? Who am I if not the generous one? How do I continue to operate in my in what my identity of being very generous and humanitarian? And I ain't got it. Well, this happened to be for me a season of receiving, a season in the fallow season, essentially. I've learned a lot about.
about harvesting and gardening and agriculture in this journey because a lot of that those terms are utilized in spiritual text especially in the bible and when there's that fallow season it's when you allow the land to rest you allow the land to rest you allow the animals to graze you allow the weeds to grow so that when you come back and you you know you come back and you till to the land and you plant those fruits and veggies and things that they can flourish even more because the soil is ripe, the soil is fertile.
Erin Patten (14:14.561)
The foundation is laid, is laid. It's lain. It's it's firm, it's solid. And essentially for me, this is that fallow season for me, in which I really had to allow God to to I had to trust in God and allow God to give me that which I needed. I never went without, actually. Everything that I needed, I received.
And that is one humbling thing to say. Even without having all the things and the accoutrements that I'm used to having in my life, I never went without. I was able to make do. What you say, make a dollar out of fifteen cents, a dime and a nickel. I did that. And it's and I'm really I'm very just
Honored to have had that experience again in my life. Because we ain't all been, we ain't all been there. We ain't all been young and broke. We ain't all been I used to live in New York, like we ain't never had it in New York. So I knew how to how to get things, you know, moving for my life and make things happen. But in this season of my life, I just am so used to the luxuries of life. This was very foreign for me and very scary.
And to be able to trust that every day I'm waking up, you know, I have my mana, I have my daily bread, I have that which God intended for me in this moment, in this time, it is a very spiritual practice, very humbling practice. And knowing that I had enough, just enough.
Enough is the discipline, okay? And I just want to really pour into people who are in that season right now of feeling lack, of feeling like you don't have enough, knowing that you're having just what you need, but not feeling comfortable in that enoughness. And that uncomfortability, trust me, I feel you. I actually it have been there.
Erin Patten (16:25.729)
You know, know what it's been like, you know, and I'm coming out of it. So I really can't say I'm there anymore, but I'm coming out of it because the energy of it's just so different. The abundance is already really felt, and I really see it all here, even though it may not have physically manifested yet, but it's all emotion for me. And so I also want to encourage you all too that are feeling this sense of fallow season that the rest is the work.
And I was talking actually with a young gentleman about this too, because he's you he's used to work in the tech industry. I'm gonna use him as an example. He worked in a tech industry and he got laid off and now he actually works at my gym. And he's just like, man, I'm just, I mean, not that there's anything wrong working in a gym, but it's like I'm working in a gym. And I'm like, dude, like when other time in your life could you just have all this time to sit and think and do nothing?
And so, like literally for the past six months, I've just had so much time to just, I don't want to say sit and think and do nothing, but really sit and think and do nothing. Because one thing, too, in the way of mastery that Jesus and Yeshua ben Joseph reminded me of is that God promised us that we need not do nothing, actually. We need not do nothing. So to be able to rest in nothingness is the work.
And I'm gonna say that again, to be able to rest in the nothingness is the work. And so many of us wanna be busy all the time, wanna have shit going on, wanna be working out, wanna be moving, wanna have action, wanna have motion. And sometimes it's not about the motion. Actually, most of the time it's not about the motion.
Because you are walking in it. You are walking in the truth. You're walking in the alignment. You're walking in your purpose. So you're just gonna walk right into it. So if today you're feeling unmotivated, today you're feeling like I just want to lay in bed all day. I can't do anything anymore, then do that. Honor that voice, honor that feeling. If it's a few days, honor it.
Erin Patten (18:43.489)
Because when have you had a chance to do that? When was the last time you did that? Most entrepreneurs likely never. Like I was talking to another friend who was who like went on like a boat trip and with just locally and was like, these are the first time I took a day off in three years. Like, what the fuck? Like, we have to go so hard that we can't even give our own selves a break in years. And so, I mean, I get it. This has been my life too.
And to feel like if I'm not making it work, it's not gonna happen. That's just too much pressure. I almost wanna cry thinking about that. Like if I don't work, it's not gonna happen. Like that's OCD, it's finest. I gotta control everything in order for it to happen. Where did that come from? Where did that thinking come from?
yeah, my traumatic ass childhood. Yeah, that's where it came from. Thinking that if I don't get good grades, or if I don't, you know, make it past this, or if I don't excel, then no one's gonna love me. No one's gonna pay attention to me. And actually that's was my conditioning.
So that's where we have to take that time off to go back to like, where did these programs come from? Why did I think that I had to perform so goddamn much to have any valid reason worthiness for being in this world?
Erin Patten (20:21.791)
Again, I am so grateful to have had this season, this fallow season of nothingness, of having to cut out the singing, cut out the dance lessons. I took a second singing lessons, dancing lessons. I had people, I had people working in my house 10, 12 hours a day. I had a whole team working with me on marketing and pushing my content. All of that had to go.
I have just launched a beauty business with a crazy massive launch party. All of that had to stop.
Got it right here, my raw beauty. For the people to see. Here you go. I did all that for raw beauty. For me to not even be able to what? To do nothing?
Erin Patten (21:15.959)
So I want to be the first one to encourage you that the rest is the work.
We don't always have to be in motion to make things happen. It is so important that we take the time to come back to ourselves, to honor ourselves. The authenticity that we seek in being in our marketing and our media and our branding is cultivated in these seasons of rest and restoring and coming back to ourselves.
Erin Patten (21:53.462)
And I know so many of us are going through rough times right now, and I'm gonna start wrapping this up. And I just want to continue to encourage you that I see you. You are doing a fantastic job. You are right on time, first of all, because this is where God wants us in the surrendering. There is nothing more that we can do.
To get to where we wanna go. We've already done the work. We've done it for most of our lives, not multiple lifetimes. We're here. If you're listening to this podcast, if you tapping in with me, we have already made it, okay? And the thing that we need to focus on right now is coming back to love for ourselves and what God has done for us. It's it's almost like a Jubilee type moment.
Where we should just really just be celebrating, celebrating and knowing of what's coming. And I just want to just again just say thank you. I want to say just say thank you to y'all. Thank you for trusting yourself. Thank you for trusting me and listening to what I have to say. And I don't know, I'm just getting chills.
Because
Erin Patten (23:29.121)
I'm just so honored to be doing this. And and this like I said, this is my first podcast back in months. And what I have learned, what I have gained, I I actually don't have all the words for. I tried to put it all my best I best I could in this podcast right here.
But it's gonna take some time to integrate all that I've I've downloaded, okay? And this is just the beginning. There's so much that I have been able to be exposed to in this season that I'm gonna be able to refine and framework and release and teach and just continue to just celebrate where you are and where you're going, okay?
And of course, if you want to just stay tapped in with me, you can follow me across social media at I am ErinPatton. Also, if you really really wanted to work with me to learn more about my offerings, whether it's for individuals or for groups or for workshops, you can go to my website, erinpatton.com. And I just showed you guys my beauty product, but I'll show y'all again the raw beauty product, my hibiscus petal oil.
That I love so much and I use every day. I just use it on my hair for this episode. Check me out with that at rawrabeauty.co. And just want to leave you with just so much love, so much light, and tune in to the next episode of the Meta Business Millennial Podcast. I love you all so much. Peace.